Usage and Warning Label

Use only as directed for occasional amusement or entertainment. Read all warning information carefully. Consult a doctor if exposure to irony, sarcasm, and satire causes irritation or disorientation.

  • Uses. For the treatment and temporary relief of countless warty little absurdities.
  • Warnings. Do not use this product if you are humorless or may be humorless or are a member of senior management. If conditions worsen, you’ve got serious problems and should seek the advice of a competent specialist, such as a politician who promises to give you hope and change based on impossible utopian schemes.
  • Active Ingredients. Grammar, satire, absurdity, irony, creativity, imagination, scorn, mockery.
  • Inactive Ingredients. Passive verbs.
  • Directions. Don’t ask me for directions. I don’t have a map, and I’m probably even more lost than you are.